What my chronic illness taught me about pain

I’ve had a chronic illness since childhood.

Nothing life-threatening, but a persistent, invisible, and misunderstood pain. Medical tests never showed anything. And yet, when a flare-up hits, it’s overwhelming. A brutal inflammation of my bladder that knocks me down. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.

And it's happening today.

I'm writing to you buried under a blanket on my couch, because I want to share what this pain has taught me.

Pain colors everything. It steals our energy, our joy, our passions. It isolates us, trapping us in dark thoughts. When I’m in pain, my first instinct is to curl up, cry, distract myself with mindless scrolling. To think: "Why me? Why again?"

But here’s what I’ve learned: these thoughts don’t serve me.

I’ve noticed that I always feel better when I feel useful. When I give classes, when I connect with my community. So today, I chose to record a podcast and write this email, even though every part of me was screaming: Just cancel. Stay in bed.

Because pain is like an overgrown weed: the more space you give it, the more it takes.

Of course, I do everything I can to heal. I take my treatment, I rest. But after that? After that, managing pain becomes about managing my mindset. Managing my stress, my beliefs, my mood.

Do I choose to put my life on hold and make myself more miserable by catastrophising?

Or do I direct the little energy I have toward something that fuels me, motivates me, gives me purpose?

I try to remember that everything is temporary. The pain will go, and then it will probably come back, and go again. The only thing I can have an impact on is how I react to it.

We don’t always control what happens to us, but we do control how we respond.

So, I wrote this email, and I feel a little bit better. And now? Now, I’m going to take a nap 😉

What about you? How do you respond to pain, whether it’s physical, emotional or mental?

Om, peace 🧡

Clem