The dishes that changed my life (sort of)

On Monday I got up in the morning and went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee. The sink was empty, the kitchen spotless, even though I did a big cooking session the night before. Last night’s tired version of me had done the dishes.

I even took a photo cause I was so pleased with myself

And I told myself: “I love myself for having this habit of washing the dishes right after cooking. It’s such a nice present to my future self.”

Whenever I speak to myself in such a nice way, I’m always a bit taken aback. Like my clients, I’m more familiar with negative self-talk. Criticising myself for not doing enough, not being enough.

And I realised my habit of doing the dishes right after I’ve cooked is a prime example of the fierce self-compassion I’m hoping to inspire you all to practice.

Fierce self-compassion is about treating yourself well, and doing what is best for yourself even when it takes you out of your comfort zone.

We sometimes think of self-compassion as self-indulgence, but it’s so far from it.

In my case, self-indulgence would have been to leave the dirty dishes in the sink, because I only wanted to enjoy my dinner and watch Adolescence.

Self-compassion was doing the dishes because I knew my future self would love a calm, clutter-free start to her day. I also knew that she would be thankful I did that for her, and it would make her want to do more nice things for her future Clem, setting up a virtuous momentum of good habits and good decisions.

Fierce self-compassion isn’t limited to chores, it shows up in other moments too.

It’s doing the workout when you’d rather chill on the couch, because you know how accomplished you will feel afterwards.

Or setting boundaries with your colleague even if it feels awfully uncomfortable in the moment, because you know your future self deserves better.

I often encourage you to do a little, often. It works for physical activity and it works for building healthful habits. These little acts of self-compassion compound.

What’s one small, thoughtful act you can do today that your future self will thank you for?

Om, peace 🧡

Clem