6.5 hours a day

6.5 hours a day. It's the average amount of screen time for a woman my age.

I've seen it in myself and in my clients: when we start wanting to take better care of ourselves, there always comes a moment when we realise we're going to have to reduce our screen time.

And it's hard.

It's hard because it's become automatic, and everything is designed to bring us back often, and especially to keep us there as long as possible.

But this screen time also translates into neck tension, fatigue, rising anxiety... no to mention the guilt about "wasting time" when we could be taking care of ourselves.

If there was ONE thing I'd like you to take away from this email, it's the concept of the alternative.

The mistake we often make when trying to get rid of a bad habit, whatever it is, is that we try to simply eliminate it.

But that habit was fulfilling a function (killing boredom, soothing anxiety...), and when we eliminate it, it creates a void.

Now, nature abhors a vacuum. And if we haven't planned an alternative, we multiply our chances of falling back into that bad habit.

So a simple trick if you're trying to stop scrolling in bed at night is to plan an alternative. And the important thing is that the alternative doesn't have to be optimal, just better.

Initially, you can replace Instagram with a less addictive app. For example, I switched to the New York Times games, because unlike Instagram, there's an end. Once I've finished my games, there's nothing left!

Yes, ideally I wouldn't be on my phone in bed, and that's the long-term goal. But I'd rather move slowly in the right direction than fail regularly because it was too difficult.

Here's how to apply this method:

  1. Identify the function your scrolling habit fulfils (Boredom? Anxiety? Avoiding going to sleep?)
  2. Find a less harmful alternative that fulfils the same function (games with an end, an audiobook, a physical book)
  3. Don't aim for perfection immediately, just aim for "better than before"
  4. Once the alternative is established, you can work towards the ideal (no phone at all)

Remember: a small improvement you can maintain beats a perfect plan you'll abandon.

What about you? What's your alternative to evening scrolling? Reply to this email, I'd love to know what works for you.

Take care of yourself 🧡

Clem