Meditation is just not for you

Meditation is hard. I think we can all agree.

But I also think we've been thinking about meditation all wrong. And if you have ever tried to meditate, given up after a few tries, and simply decided it is not for you, this one is for you.

Because I'm going to let you in on a well-guarded secret: you are not failing if your mind goes all over the place. That's literally the whole point of the exercise.

Most people sit down to meditate believing the goal is an empty mind. A still, quiet, thought-free state. So they close their eyes, and within about four seconds they are thinking about their inbox, what to make for dinner, that slightly awkward thing they said in 2017. They notice they are thinking, decide they are doing it wrong, and feel like they have failed.

But that wandering is not the failure... that's just how all brains work.

The Default Mode Network

See, your brain has a network that switches on the moment you stop focusing on a task. It's called the default mode network (pictured below), and it is responsible for that constant inner chatter. You cannot switch it off.

So the real skill of meditation is not keeping your mind blank. It's noticing that your mind has wandered and gently bringing it back. That moment of noticing and returning is one repetition of the exercise, and the wandering is what gives you something to return from.

So what does that mean? The messy meditation session where you caught your mind drifting 40 times was actually 40 repetitions. I'd say that was a good session.

We are being set to fail

Honestly, I've rarely heard the practice of meditation explained like this. We are being sold calm, images of monks with a serene face. But the reality is that meditators are just "crashing out with their eyes closed" (that's a quote from my favourite comedian, Josh Johnson).

Something to try this week: set a timer for 5 minutes. And then try to focus on your breath. When you notice you have drifted, don't sigh or judge yourself, simply notice the thought and come back to observing your breath. Count it as a win every single time you notice and return.

And remember: 5 minutes done badly (but daily) beats thirty minutes you never start.

Let me know how it goes!

Much love,

Clem

Yoga with Clem

La Madeleine, France

For more info, resources and ways to work with me, please have a look at my website.